I’ve been sick for a week. It’s just a cold, but it’s kicking my ass. Last week, I took Tuesday off because I only had a couple of visits scheduled, and I thought I could easily make them up if I had to later in the week. I figured staying home one day to rest would nip this thing in the bud. Went back to work on Wednesday. That was a mistake. I then spent most of Thursday through Sunday on the couch. Last night, I thought for sure I’d go back to work today. I was wrong.
I hate being sick. And I hate missing work. I may be a bit of an egomaniac, thinking that without me, my families will just fall apart. But it’s also the work ethic my dad instilled in me from a young age. His may have been a bit skewed, to the point of spending more time at work than at home. (He still does that, and he’s 75 years old.) I like to think I’ve established a better life/work balance and even left my previous job because I was bringing too much of my work home. Still, being sick and missing a bunch of work makes it that much harder when I have to return and try to make up most of what I’ve missed.
Hubby’s been great, bringing me soup and medicine so I don’t have to leave the house. When I’m sick for this long, I’m actually glad I don’t have little ones to take care of. But at the same time, I worry. What will happen when we do have kids and I get sick? I have no doubt that Hubby will be a big help, but what about things like breastfeeding? Can a sick mom breastfeed without passing illness to the baby? Does breastfeeding itself bolster mom’s immunity as well as baby’s, so I don’t get sick in the first place? I know there are certain medications I can’t take while breastfeeding (not that I take much anyway, other than ibuprofen). But there’s still so much I don’t know. So many questions I still need answered. Because how can I possibly parent without all the answers?
(Okay, I know it’s completely unrealistic to expect to have all the answers. Honestly, I do. But…)
I’m not even pregnant (yet) and I’m already a mess. I obsess (but I’ll get to that later). I worry. How much is this going to be multiplied when there’s a brand-new human life involved?
Sounds like it’s time for a nap. To heal and keep any more of these useless thoughts from swirling around in my head. I hope to be back to at least 90% tomorrow.