I had blood drawn two Saturdays ago on CD2. Last Friday, I realized I still hadn’t heard anything about the results. Yesterday I was so busy at work I didn’t have a chance to call Dr. C’s office, so I called first thing this morning.
Of course the nurse started out by telling me everything looked good…followed by the phrase “with a few exceptions.”
Of course I panicked through the rest of the phone call, despite the fact that she kept saying it wasn’t anything to worry about.
Of course she used the word “borderline” to describe my FSH levels.
Of course I have the AMH of a much older woman.
Of course she kept saying it didn’t mean I couldn’t get pregnant; it would just take longer.
Of course I kept hearing “age-related” far more times than she actually said it (probably).
Of course this ruined the rest of my day, which I spent fighting off tears just to get through work.
Of course I told Hubby as soon as I got home and immediately crumbled into a sobbing mess.
Of course he reassured me that everything would be fine, knowing that I hate being told everything will be fine.
Of course he reminded me that we haven’t even tried yet, so save the tears for when we’ve actually failed at something.
Of course I replied that I already feel like a failure.
Of course I railed against every doctor who gave us unreasonably good odds, not knowing anything about my stats and having thus far not seen any actual sperm.
Of course I eventually calmed down, and Hubby used Dr. Google to convince me that it could be so much worse.
Of course I came here, asking for support and reassurance that my eggs don’t belong in a nursing home, being pushed around in wheelchairs and eating pureed mush because they’ve lost all their teeth, even though that’s exactly how I feel right now.
Here are the actual numbers:
TSH 1.66 should be <2.5
Prolactin 12.5 should be <30
AMH 1.22 should be >3.0
FSH 10.1 should be <10.5
E2 17 should be <40
Please, someone, tell me this isn’t as bad as I’ve made it in my head.