Am I Ready?

Am I ready for Hubby to get a job–anywhere–and move us out of here?

Am I ready to start my life all over again in a new place, make new friends, find new doctors and a new job for myself?

Am I ready for how quickly things might start happening?

Am I ready to be on the other side of the needle?

Am I ready for frequent monitoring appointments?

Am I ready for medication-induced mood swings, bloating, and weight-gain?

Am I ready for things to not go the way I planned?

Am I ready for the possibility of bad news?

Am I ready for an IVF that might not work?

Am I ready to try again if it doesn’t?

Am I ready for pregnancy, and a whole new set of worries?

Am I ready for this body to become home to another human being?

Am I ready to push a whole person out of my hoo-ha?

Am I ready for sleepless nights, breastfeeding, learning how to use cloth diapers on a newborn?

Am I ready to care for someone else’s every need 24/7?

Am I ready for fevers, whooping cough, diarrhea?

Am I ready to advocate for my child the way I would advocate for myself?

Am I ready for bumps and bruises and kisses to make it all better?

Am I ready for the big questions?

Am I ready to stop worrying and start doing?

Am I ready to let go of my fears and embrace possibility?

Am I ready to get the hell out of here?

Thank you–all of you who commented on my last post.  Where else can I bitch about my period to people who actually get it?  Love you all!

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27 thoughts on “Am I Ready?

  1. Yes. I’m actually pretty sure you are ready for all of those things and more. I can see you handling it all with so much grace and strength. Not the loud bruiser kind. The quiet brave kind. The kind I aspire to be. Youre ready. I know you are.

    • Oh, good. So how do we make any/all of these things happen? I’m not sure how brave I’ll be, but I sure am ready to be out of limbo.

    • I think of it as going from 0 to 60 as soon as Hubby gets a job. Hopefully things will start happening at that point. But the more I think about everything that could/will happen, the more overwhelming it is. I think I’ll be okay once we get going.

      • honestly, I think it comes from us not having much control of our cycles and overcompensating for it. We are always planning as far in advance as we can so that once it does start to happen, we suddenly feel like its coming so much faster than we are ready for. I get it. Deep breaths then take each step one at a time. 🙂

  2. I think you’re more then ready. The thing to keep in mind is that it’s impossible for all those things to happen all at once. You will handle each thing as it comes. We’re here to cheer you on!

  3. Um, agree with all the other commenters. HELL YES! YES! YES! YES! You are ready. The easy part is that everything doesn’t happen at once, so you can take each yes as it comes. Remember, it’s about balancing your expectations with the realities you’re living, but you are strong, beautiful, and amazing. Don’t forget that.

  4. Yes, yes and yes. You know what you want so I’m sure you are ready to take the steps to at least try to get there. See it as a great adventure, a scary one but still something new, possibly leading to a wonderful place.

  5. I think we’re never really ready for anything that comes our way. But at the end of the day, we jump off the metaphoric cliff and somehow find ourselves swimming safely in the water.
    No matter what comes your way, I know you’ll get through it with grace and strength.

    • Thanks, Mo. I hate the idea of not being prepared. I spend a lot of time in my head making plans–of course my plans are moot if we don’t start moving forward soon!

  6. You may be ready or you may not be but one thing is for certain, you will tackle it head on like the champ you are and once your at the other side,your going to wonder what you were so worried about.

  7. I’m so glad you asked yourself these questions. It makes me feel better to know that I am not the only person who has struggled with infertility and is not 100% certain from the get go that she will proceed with treatments. Of course, the entire game plan changed when I found myself pregnant by surprise last fall. After we lost River in April, I decided we would try for 6 months on our own before considering other options. At this stage, I am still not certain if treatments are right for me.

    • Hi Erin. I’m so sorry for your loss. Decisions about what to do next are not easy. The problem for us is that we know what treatments we’re likely to pursue, but the details are a bit fuzzy until my husband gets a job. We’re also waiting to see if his sperm count will continue to climb, which could change our plans. We’ve been in limbo for a long time, just waiting, so it’s the moving forward that I hope I’m ready for. Best of luck to you, whatever you decide to do next.

  8. The mere fact that you’re asking the questions means you’re more ready than most! It seems like forever now that you’re in the midst of it, but when it finally happens and you are pregnant – prepare yourself for the time-warp of your life!

  9. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes ……… etc. etc. etc. Or perhaps not. But even if you’re not, at this very minute, you will be when (or if) that particular moment arrives. We cannot prepare in advance for every eventuality, but we can prepare to be prepared. And that, my dear, I believe you have done!

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