Humbled.

Oh my goodness.  Thank you Mel.  And thank you Kimberly.  I’ve been double-blessed this week on the roundup, and I just can’t say “thank you” enough.

My little blog hit a record number of views the past two days.  It wasn’t because you were all dying to wish Hubby a belated happy birthday (although some of you did, so thanks for that, too).  And it had nothing to do with fantasy football.  I’m quite sure it had something to do with the roundup, but there’s a lot more to it than that.

I’ve had some key words show up in my search terms lately.  Words like “hypogonadism,” “150,000 sperm,” and “ready for IVF.”  These terms, while heart-breaking for anyone desperate enough to consult Dr. Google about them, also make me smile.  Because that’s one of many reasons this blog exists.  When I felt so alone in the world of fertiles, when I needed someone to say, “I understand,” I stumbled upon a few blogs, then a few more, and suddenly there was this whole world of women who really knew what I was going through.  In this special circle of hell we call infertility, I found all of you.  And if someone in a similarly discouraged state found my blog in the act of reaching out for answers, I am both humbled and grateful to be of service to them.

Here’s what’s coming up for us:  Hubby had bloodwork done last week, and he’s scheduled another SA for this coming Monday.  We should get the results over the phone as soon as they’re both in.  What are we hoping for?  A million?  Two?  If we hit 10,000,000, we might be able to do IUI.  I never would have imagined that possibility, but it doesn’t seem as far-fetched as it once did.

By Monday, I should also be starting my period.  Unless….

But I don’t want to think about that.  (I think about it every second of the day.)  It hurts too much to be hopeful.  Or rather, to come crashing down when the inevitable happens.

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10 thoughts on “Humbled.

      • Have you ever watched How I Met Your Mother? If not, there is an episode where the main character Ted did a dance to make it rain so he could get the girl he wanted. He made it rain and did in fact get the girl because of it. I want to create a dance and I want to call it the swimmer dance and that dance is for our men and their swimmers to grow in numbers and do their job. I will do this dance relentlessly til we both get SA results that are “normal”. Then we can celebrate!

  1. The recognition is very much deserved, my dear! I’m glad that others recognize your writing for its beauty as well as its inspiration. I’m looking forward to some more good sperm news early next week – and fingers crossed that that pesky period just doesn’t even show up.

    • Thank you, my dear! Pesky period is here, but hopefully we get some good news soon (and don’t have to wait over a week before we get it!) on the sperm front. Hubby is once again feeling pretty proud of his balls!

  2. And it’s Monday, hope to hear some good news when the results are in. Love this post and all it stands for, the recognition of the writing and also the searches for information. Pretty cool.

    • Thanks! Yeah, I thought it was pretty cool that (hopefully) people were finding what they were looking for on my blog. Usually I get searches for “daryl hannah” and “nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll go eat worms.” Serves me right for actually including those things here!

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