Premature Nostalgia

For the last week or so, ever since we found out we might be moving (only to have those hopes dashed by week’s end), I’ve been waxing nostalgic about our home.  Not the house itself, which I’d be happy to vacate at any time, but the city and state surrounding it.

I love where we live now.  And I’m torn because I want nothing more than for my husband to get a job–wherever he can get one–and leave this place behind.  The other day, I was driving (which I do a lot for work) and I started thinking about the next place we live.  How it probably won’t have mountains, and how much I’ll miss them.

The mountains here turn pink at sunset.  (Pink!)  And I love how they change in the changing light.  I have hiked them, driven to the top, taken photos of the city–my city–from the peak, and admired them from afar.  I have watched for their silhouette on long drives home.  I have lived here for ten years, and yet, I feel like I haven’t spent enough time with my mountains.

And there are other things I’ll miss.  The skies here are enormous and almost always blue.  There is sunshine all year round.  Every year, in late fall, cranes migrate and spend their days hanging out in a large field I often pass to and from my home visits.  This fall may be the last time I get to wave hello to them from my car.  It may be the last fall I drive over a river of gold.  Or wake up to brightly-colored hot air balloons dotting the sky.

Fall is such a special season here.  It’s the time of year when our most popular crop is harvested and roasted.  Just the smell of it roasting makes my mouth water.  The food here.  Oh my gawd, the food.  It’s both the style of cooking and the ingredients that are unique to this area.  And, again, I feel like I haven’t eaten nearly enough of it because Hubby’s not a fan.  And because, well, how could I possibly get enough?

Regardless of the season, I’ll miss my friends.  Sincerity and I finally have the writing group we’ve always wanted, and I just know I’ll be leaving it soon.  Too soon.

I’ll even miss my RE, with his confidence and sky-high stats.

Of course, there are things I won’t miss.  Like work.  Yes, I know I’ll have to get another job somewhere, but I feel ready to leave my current employer.  Even that isn’t so simple, though.  There are families and coworkers I’m not quite ready to say goodbye to.

I feel rushed now.  To take it all in.  To complete our first round of fertility treatments.  To spend all the quality time I can with my friends and my food and my mountains.  Before I have to leave them.

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8 thoughts on “Premature Nostalgia

  1. Now you just leave me super curious about where you’re at that has mountains and special food, especially as I was under the impression you lived in Canada and I didn’t think Canada had special, regional food other than french stuff on the east coast, but that’s not so much “harvested”. Hmmm…. *taps fingers together pondering* So cruel to leave to little clues! Especially since I’m not well versed enough in geography or cuisine (Or Ornithology… where cranes nest, hmmmm) to put it all together!

    However, aside from my pseudo-attempts at stalking (in only the kindest way possible!) I get the feelings of being torn. Of having things that you love and things you can’t wait to leave. I felt similarly about leaving Colorado, although the difference was I had a pretty good idea of where we were going and what I could look forward to there. All I can say is definitely embrace everything you can of what you love right now, but also remember that where-ever you end up, there will be little gems waiting to be discovered there as well! There are still moments I miss things back in Colorado, but it’s usually more that I miss people, than the actual state. Occasionally there is a restaurant or bar I miss… but there is so much to love about where I’m at!

    • I hope I will find new things to fall in love with wherever we end up, but in the meantime, I will definitely try to soak in as much as I can while we’re still here. Which is not Canada! We live in the western U.S. If you’re absolutely dying to know, I’d be happy to email you. You know, so you don’t have to resort to stalking! 😉

  2. That sounds beautiful … especially the pink mountains. And the food, whatever it is – I’m curious!

    I understand those feelings of premature nostalgia (very apt label for it, by the way). I spent fifteen years living somewhere that I always wanted to escape from, and as soon as I knew that I would, when I decided to move to Switzerland, I was overcome by sadness and longing for that place even before I began packing my boxes.

    But as a dear friend told me when I was going through a bad breakup, just because you’re sad about it doesn’t mean the decision isn’t the right one.

    • Oh, it will absolutely be the right decision, wherever we end up going, if it means Hubby has a job! I’ll have to take lots of pictures and eat lots of food in the meantime!

  3. I love the mountains too. You sound like you live in a wonderful place. I hope you fall equally in love with the next place you’ll be. I can totally understand since we also have to move out of the town I love. Hugs

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