A little over a week ago, Hubby asked me what day we got engaged.
Me: You mean what day of the week?
Him: No, the date.
Me (à la Rainman): July 18, 2005.
Him: How do you know?
Me: I just do.
I then proceeded to dig out my journal from that era of my life, flip to the exact page, and rub it in his face a little for doubting me. I don’t know why I remember dates like that, but I do. Maybe I remember that day, in particular, because it was the beginning of something.
A year ago today was the beginning of something else. I gave Hubby his first injection of hCG in nearly 20 years. At the time, we were told it could take up to two years to see results.
The night before his first injection, this is what I wrote in my journal:
Delayed by a day, but as [Hubby] says, what’s one day compared to our genes being passed on for eternity.
We watched videos online to see how this whole injection thing is going to go. Damn, that’s a long needle I’m going to have to stick into my husband’s ass. But [Hubby] insists, even before we’ve officially started, that it’s going to work, that I will get pregnant. He guaranteed it. We’ll see.
“We’ll see,” indeed. And soon, I hope.
I’m not gonna lie. It’s been a pretty sucktacular year. Another year of Hubby’s lingering unemployment. A year of waiting and hoping, and those hopes being dashed.
But, by the end of it, we’re on the cusp of possibility. We’re lucky we didn’t have to wait the two years originally projected to get enough sperm to work with. We’re lucky Dr. C is indulging us in an experimental IUI, easing us in slowly to the world of ART.
All in all, I’m happier than I thought I’d be on this anniversary. At least we’re doing something. We’re finally moving, after months of feeling stuck. We’re not where we want to be yet (obviously), but we’re headed in the right direction. And there’s no reason to believe we’ll go another year without something to show for it.
And in case you didn’t know what a difference a year can make, check out Giuliana Rancic’s take on it: from breast cancer to baby.