I’ve fallen so far behind on reading blogs and commenting this week. I just haven’t felt like doing much of anything. Enjoy these bullet points explaining why:
§ I’ve been super-stressed this week. I don’t know if it’s the sore boobs telling me my period–and therefore the start of our first IVF–is imminent, but I’ve been suddenly anxious about money. Or, more precisely, lack thereof.
→ Sub-point A: Hubby is unemployed (duh!) and my income on its own doesn’t seem to be covering the bills
→ Sub-point B: Our supposed-to-be-for-IVF savings account has developed a slow leak (see Sub-point A)
→ Sub-point C: Not like I need to tell you, but IVF is freakin’ expensive!
§ Because of this stress, I’ve been getting tension headaches, which make me feel generally cranky, which leads to more of me not wanting to do anything.
§ We have what seems like a never-ending to-do list ahead of us, and it feels like we’ve hardly dented it.
§ We just applied for a loan in the thousands of dollars, for which we were approved at a not-terrible rate, and I’m still nervous as hell about accepting the terms and actually going into debt to have a baby.
§ My writing group meets tomorrow, and I have a half-assed revision of a poem they’ve already seen as the only evidence I’ve done anything the past few weeks other than work and sleep.
§ And, as much as I hate to admit it, the most recent round of pregnancy announcements–and especially the multiple announcements of multiples (the holy grail of fertility treatments, according to Hubby)–have left me a little worn thin. I am so, so happy for each and every one of you, and I hope that my turn is right around the corner, but…
§ I’m terrified that we’re going to spend every penny we have on a round of IVF that, as good as Dr. C’s stats are, will fail. Someone has to fall into that unlucky 25%, and it might as well be me.
So there you have it. All the cheerful thoughts that have kept me from keeping up with all of you. I hope to delve in this weekend and catch up on all the happenings in blogland.