Happy Thoughts Thanksgiving

Okay, so things haven’t been great lately.  Since starting the pill, I’ve remembered why I was so relieved to stop taking it years ago: it turns me into a depressed, moody mess.  Suddenly, I was having flashbacks of crying for no reason–for hours!–leaving Hubby at a loss for what to do about it.  I’ve also been spotting, which is great fun.  So while I’ve hopefully bought my last box of tampons for a while, I will have to stock up on panty liners.  Boobs are huge and sore-ish, and I’ve gained 3-4 pounds.  It’s awesome.

But enough about that.  It’s Thanksgiving week, after all, and I do have a few things to be thankful for this year:

  1. My husband, who lets me spend an entire day in my pajamas if I want to.  Who fetches me food, washes dishes, or takes out the trash upon my request.  (At least, since I’ve been prone to losing my shit at the drop of a hat.)  Who is so positive this is going to work and only somewhat annoyingly assures me that it will be so.  Who snuggles with me and cuddles with me and loves me very much.
  2. The support of our friends and families.  While a few family members have offered to help us financially, others have been supportive in other ways.  I have friends at work who tell me I’m going to be a fantastic mom and ask where we are in this cycle.  I have friends outside of work who listen to me worry aloud about all the what-ifs for hours at a time and even read my poetry on the subject.  My sister wants to know the minute I get a positive pregnancy test (although, for reasons I’m sure all of you will understand, I’m a little bit hesitant about this idea).
  3. Meds have been ordered and will be shipped early next week, in plenty of time for me to begin injections next Saturday.  And, thanks to the lovely and amazing playitallnightlong, far less than we would have ordered if not for her generous gift of the leftover Follistim she had in her fridge.  Thanks, my dear!
  4. I have a job.  I may bitch and moan about it, but at least Hubby and I aren’t both unemployed.  And we have a place to live, food on the table, and gas in the car.
  5. We’re getting close.  We actually have a real shot at procreating for the first time ever.  So what if it’s going to happen in a roomful of scrubs and cost thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars?
  6. And, last but certainly not least, each and every one of you.  I know I’ve been not so great at replying to comments lately, but I have read every single one, and they make my day.  If I have to live through the shit storm of infertility, you guys make the best umbrella.
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18 thoughts on “Happy Thoughts Thanksgiving

  1. Hi there, you have kindly commented on my blog before, and as I am going private I wanted to let you know in case you wanted to join my reader list.
    If you would do email me at
    em(dot)hart(at)rocketmail(dot)com
    and leave me your email address.

  2. I have never been able to take the Pill for long for the same reason — I become an emotional mess with world class depression. But it’s all going to be worth it, isn’t it?! And way to go on finding a few things to be thankful for this week. It’s not always easy when in the trenches.

  3. Girl I can SO relate to the side affects from the pill (which I am also on the prepare for IVF. I have literally been spotting for a month! And the moods…. I haven’t been this depressed since high school 😦 Like you I have much to be thankful for, however. Thanks for helping put things back in perspective.

      • It’s been two months straight for me, with no period! But like you, I’ve only got a week left on this crap. Then I prepare for surgery (blog to come). After a month of healing, we’ll prepare for our first IVF cycle which will require another two weeks of pills. It’s pretty crazy how much they’ve got to manipulate my poor body to make a baby. I know you know what I mean 🙂

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