It all started with Zuzu’s Petals. A scene in a movie that got me to sit in front of my computer and vent to an imaginary audience. I never could have dreamed where it would lead, that it would lead to all of you.
A year ago, we hadn’t yet started Hubby’s magic hMG injections, but he’d been on hCG for almost three months. He hadn’t seen the specialist in his home country yet, but I was optimistic, based on what Dr. Google had to say about the matter, that we’d be on the road to IVF in a few short months. Definitely by summer. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.
Instead, the road has been long and twisty. I find myself often asking, “Are we there yet?” And the answer is still no.
A few weeks ago, when I began thinking about this upcoming blogiversary, I wanted to be able to say that–at last–we were beginning our first cycle of IVF. Instead, we’re benched until after the holidays. A year ago, when I started this blog, I hoped I’d be pregnant by now, one way or another, and I still feel very far from it.
But what I don’t feel anymore is alone. And I have all of you to thank for that. I started this blog to spew my thoughts and feelings, dreams and anxieties to the world, and all of you actually read them and could relate, somehow, to the mess in my head, the emptiness of my uterus, and the brokenness of my heart. You lifted me up. And I am forever grateful for that.
By next year, I feel like I can say with some confidence that we will have made significant progress. That our baby, if not here yet, will at least be on the way. I’m less naive than I was when I first came to this space, but I haven’t completely lost hope.
Thank you, George Bailey. You may have saved my life.