Happy Thoughts Thursday: Four!

It’s official.  Our first IVF has now become (hopefully) our first FET.  We have four frozen embryos.  Which begs the question, what do I call these little boogers?  Frosties?  Snow Babies?  Totsicles?  Fro-yos?  It’s all been done before.

I have a few ideas, but I need your help, dear readers.  You, after all, are the ones who have to read ad nauseam about our little people-to-be.  So here are the options.  Ready, set, vote!

Okay, on to other business.

Although none of you have called me on it (to your credit, and bless you), I feel like my last post may have seemed a bit ungrateful.  To be honest, I wrote it almost immediately after getting off the phone with the clinic.  I was, perhaps, a little shell-shocked.  I know my disappointment was just the shrapnel from my expectations shattering yet again.  But I’m so thankful that we have any embryos left to freeze, let alone four.

I’m also a giant ball of anxiety, and, whatever the news, I always jump to the worst-case scenario.  When I heard we had four (out of 10) embryos that made it to blastocyst, I may have panicked a bit.  Knowing that, statistically, half of them could be genetically abnormal (or something like that, according to the stack of consent forms we had to sign in order to have the screening performed), I panicked again.  Because there is a good chance we’ll get at least one shot at an embryo transfer, but what if we only get one?  And what if that doesn’t work?  And we have nothing left?  You see where this is going.

So what I’m trying to do is flip my thinking.  I’m trying to look on the bright side, which goes completely against my first instinct.  In that vein, I give you the Top 10 Reasons Postponing Our Transfer is Actually a Good Thing:

10.  I don’t have to shave my legs for another month.
9.  Hubby and I can finally have sex.  Wait, maybe I should rethink number 10.
8.  We get to have the genetic screening performed, which will greatly help reduce my fears.
7.  Maybe I’ll be able to fit into my favorite jeans again sometime between now and transfer.
6.  Possible October due date?  Our baby(ies) could be born on my mom’s birthday.
5.  Two more days off work next month!
4.  Um…this is really hard, but my list is almost over!
3.  It gives Hubby more time to be super-cute speculating about our future children.
2.  We can finally get a few good nights of sleep before the real worry begins.
1.  All our embryos didn’t die.  So, yay.

What I am not including on this list is that soon I will experience (thanks to, at last measurement–2 days before retrieval–my 12mm lining) what I can only imagine will be the mother of all periods.

I leave you with this.  As much as this song has spoken to me from the very first time I heard it, today, it is my anthem.

19 thoughts on “Happy Thoughts Thursday: Four!

  1. There are 4!!!! Very, very awesome. I please don’t apologize for seeming ungrateful. Unexpected news always takes time to process and at no point did you come across as ungrateful in any way.

    Love the list, too!

  2. Looking at the bright side is most definitely not my first instinct, either. I applaud you being able to create a list of positives. Congrats on having 4 frosties.

  3. I didn’t think you were ungrateful, you were just slammed with yet another unexpected hurdle from our good friend Mr. Infertility. Yes, he’s a man since no woman would ever do this to another. Re number 6, you could also have a Halloween baby which means costume birthday parties forever!

  4. Been thinking about you so, so, so much (despite my lack of commenting). The fears, anxiety, and fears (yes, they deserved to be mentioned twice) are very real and very overwhelming. But I like your little list of optimism. And might I add, October babies are the best. I’m not even one of them- but I personally hold out that all people in October rock. Here’s to some rockin’ babes!

  5. I love PHOIs (and was pleased to see that more than half of everybody else does too!) – did you guys make that up? I’m so sorry about this cycle’s cancellation but so glad that you have these four little guys ready and waiting for you. Your top ten list is awesome – keep those in mind during your down moments!

  6. You did not seem ungrateful at all. It’s natural to be upset about yet another obstacle. And, after dealing with infertility, it’s sometimes tough to look on the bright side. I wish you all the best luck with your FET!

  7. Hooray for your four pack! You’re totally allowed to be anxious and if you didn’t express all of your anxieties here you’d be a sad sack. No judgement zone, sistah.

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