Home Alone + a poem

I originally started this poem a long time ago, during a time when Hubby was gone, probably out of the country without me.  I recently tweaked and “finished” it.  Turns out, it’s not just long absences that make me miss Hubby.  The four hours he’s gone to teach his class one night a week seem like an eternity.  Especially tonight, when I’m feeling icky and kind of wish he was here to love on me.  Or at least make me some soup.

I don’t know what happened.  I used to be so darned independent.  By which I mean I used to spend a lot of time by myself.  And I was (mostly) fine with it.  It’s not like we spend every second on top of each other when we’re both here.  He’s usually in his room, and I’m here in mine.  (Okay–unlike him, I don’t get my “own room.”  My space is parked on the couch with my laptop and/or TV.  So I’m super productive.)

But he’s here.  And that somehow feels different.

~

Absence

I am alone in the house we share,
two bodies bound to bump into each other,
bound to touch, given enough time
and movement, given the closeness
of these rooms. We cannot pass
in the hallway without reaching out.
We cannot love each other without touching.

But here I am, putting away the dishes
we share, glasses and forks
that have touched each of our lips,
the tinny clang of silverware
being sorted into a drawer, so loud
in the silence of our house without you in it.

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10 thoughts on “Home Alone + a poem

  1. Beautiful poem, Daryl.

    I too get lonely when Grey is away. With most trips, I usually have 2 nights where I’m loving having the bed to myself and relishing bad TV + good Chinese, but after that I’m done. The funny thing is, when he’s working late, I feel the same loneliness. Mainly because I’m not primed for his absence (cue bad TV, good chinese and hogging the bed). And I find it’s especially bad when I’m not feeling well.

    Honestly, I think you feeling this way is a good thing. It shows the bond you two have.

    Hope you feel better soon.

    • Thanks, Cristy. I always think I’m going to be so productive when he’s gone and surprise him with a super-clean, well-organized house when he gets home, but it never seems to happen.

      And I am feeling much better–finally. Thanks.

  2. I feel the same way when M isn’t around. I mean, all we basically do is come home and park ourselves on the couch and watch Netflix, but that couch seems awfully empty when he’s not there and stretching out on it feels strange. I love your poems, you are a very talented writer!

  3. Thanks for sharing another lovely poem. Sharing your art is such a brave thing. It can feel so risky. I admire your courage and am grateful you give the rest of us an opportunity to enjoy your creativity.

  4. This is beautiful and I’m so happy you’re finding your creative, soul-nourishing voice again 🙂
    I especially like the imagery of the dishes. I’m not sure why (maybe because I love being in the kitchen so much?) but for me, there is always something so impossibly romantic, simple, and prosaic, when I look at the dirty dishes in the sink after a lovely dinner we’ve shared…two plates, two glasses, two forks, where there used to be only one. (I also used to be very independent, determinedly so).

    My husband and I are the same, if either of us is writing we have to sit beside each other at the same desk to be really productive!

    You guys are cute.

    • Thanks, Sadie. There are so many little clues around our home that speak to our relationship and the intimacy we share. The goal for me is always to capture that in a few words, so I’m really glad this spoke to you in that way.

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