We dropped off Hubby’s prescription for testosterone injections at the pharmacy tonight. He won’t start them for a few weeks, but it’s a big step. A step off the infertility roller coaster, at least, for him.
Hindsight being 20/20, we should have done IVF back in September, when Hubby’s sperm count was at its peak. In the past few months, his numbers have dropped off a cliff. The sample he gave to be frozen on Monday was a measly .03 million. That’s 30,000 sperm.
They’re poorer quality, too, with motility at only 20%. If we ever need these spermsicles down the road, there won’t be many little guys to choose from.
I know it doesn’t really matter when we’re talking about ICSI. I know we only need a few. But I wish we could somehow go back and freeze the best samples we had, when his count was closer to a million and motility, at its best, was 72%. Those are the sperm I want in charge of half the DNA of our future embryos.
But the truth is we may never get a chance to use the frozen sperm we have now. Unless we can come up with another $20,000. Or move to a state where insurance coverage is mandated.
This upcoming FET may be our one shot at a biological child(ren). And if it doesn’t work–well, I don’t like to think about what will happen if it doesn’t work. But if we ever get another shot at it, we’ve only got the B-team sperm to work with.
I don’t know why Hubby’s balls suddenly decided to go on strike. And if we really wanted to, I suppose we could continue Hubby’s injections indefinitely, hoping the numbers go back up. But that’s expensive, and not even close to a guarantee.
So we have what we have. A few less-than-stellar samples, which we may or may not get to use for future rounds of IVF. At least it’s something. That’s all we really wanted, right? Something out of nothing.