…to highlight how little your life has changed in the last five years.
My friend R is coming to town, and that means grabbing some food with her and a couple of the women we used to work with. It happens about once a year, on average, but this year, I’m not exactly looking forward to it.
It’s not like my life completely sucks (contrary to how it may appear on this blog), but we’ve been standing still for so long, it’s hard to celebrate the good when we’re so busy lamenting what isn’t happening.
R just got engaged and is finishing her PhD.
G has a two-year-old and her own business.
A has a newborn and recently bought a house with her husband.
Everyone has something going on, and I have nothing new to tell. I’ve been recounting the same tales of woe regarding Hubby’s employment situation on an annual basis, and as much as I get sick of telling that sad story, I’m sure they’re even sicker of hearing it every time we see each other. On the other hand, the only reason I’m still around to see them is because Hubby hasn’t gotten a job somewhere else.
R is the only one who knows about our infertility and the fact that we tried IVF. I was stimming the last time she was in town and had to schedule our dinner date early enough that I could get home and shoot myself up. I’d like to talk to her–and maybe the rest of them, too–about the fact that it didn’t work and how I feel about it, but I don’t think the day I meet her fiance is the appropriate time.
So…what to talk about? Or do I just let them do all the talking? I’m perfectly happy to listen to wedding chatter, but life with a newborn? Baby pictures? Or worse, what if she brings the baby? That’s a panic attack waiting to happen. And simultaneously makes me feel like a shitty friend.
This is why, even though we live in the same city, I never see or spend time with G and A. Except when R is in town.
Between now and Saturday, it’s time to put on the big girl panties and prepare to talk extensively about our upcoming trip to see Hubby’s family and how awesome it is that surviving a failed IVF cycle has only brought us closer together.
On second thought, I’ll stick to the trip.