Really?!?

Just a quick little rant today.

Hubby and I went to see Man of Steel tonight.  As we were walking in, I asked, “How long is this movie?”  It’s 2 1/2 freaking hours, y’all.  So when I saw families with young children seating themselves in an otherwise sparsely populated theater, I thought, “Hmmm.  This movie was a brave choice.”  And then, when a couple and their child sat down right in front of us, I thought, “You have got to me kidding me.”

This couple brought a four month old to a 143-minute-long movie.  Brilliant.

I immediately leaned over to Hubby and whispered, “Who brings a baby to this kind of movie?”  To which he responded, “Who brings a baby to any kind of movie?”  Which is one of many reasons why I love him.

Clearly these people do not ascribe to the notion that having a baby changes your whole life.  I don’t know.  Maybe after this experience, they do.

Because, obviously, their little one was not having the whole sitting-through-an-entire-movie-without-giving-mom-or-dad-a-reason-to-pay-attention-to-me thing.  I saw them giving the kid a bottle during the previews and assumed they thought he’d just slip into a milk coma and sleep through the duration of the film.  Nice try.

Mom was up and down with him during the first half-hour or so.  Then she gave up on her comfy, reclining movie theater seat and stood by the wall near the entrance.  Dad, meanwhile, stayed put, eyes fixed on the big screen.  Which infuriated me more than anything.  The mom was clearly not having a good time, and all the while, I was tortured by the little dude’s gurgling and spitting.  He wasn’t even crying.  That wasn’t the problem.  He was just being his adorable little self, and it was killing me.

And I had done so well earlier in the day.  I had braved the farmers’ market this morning for the first time in a year.  Babies everywhere.

Even walking into the theater, there was a little girl peeking over her dad’s shoulder at me and Hubby.  He didn’t seem to notice, but I sure as heck couldn’t ignore her big, blue eyes, staring right at the man I want more than anything to be the father of our hypothetical future children.

I could blame my over-sensitivity on the hormones.  Today was the first day of stims.  But I don’t think that’s it.  In fact, if anything, beginning another round of hormones in pursuit of IVF and a baby of our own should make all of this easier.  Right?  Well, according to my husband, anyway.

Ugh.  I don’t even know where I’m going with this.  Except to say, to those of you lucky enough to be holding your baby in your arms right now, get a sitter.  How hard is that?

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14 thoughts on “Really?!?

  1. It’s NOT HARD! And if it is we should stay at home, or at least far, far away from fucking movie theaters. Dear G-d! What are people thinking?! I’m sorry D, that is not cool, at all.

  2. One word: Redbox. They can wait until it comes out on DVD. That’s part of being a parent. You give stuff up. This kind of shit makes me want to punch people in the throat. Sorry, friend!

  3. I’m so very sorry that was so hard for you and I do understand how frustrating and infuriating it must have been, but I feel like I have to speak in defense of these parents. I took my daughter to the movie theater with my hubby and I until she was 6 months old. She always nursed and slept through the whole thing (and when she didn’t, that’s when we stopped taking her), but it is sometimes harder than it seems to find a sitter. For example, we were new in town, no family in the state, and I was a nervous new mom who hadn’t yet found someone she trusted to watch her baby. After weeks of staying at home sequestered to caring for a new baby, sometimes you just need to get out. Even as an infertile myself, I’m surprised by everyone’s strong reactions to this. Isn’t there worst things they could do as parents? That’s just my two cents. But again, I’m sorry for your difficult experience. I wish I could give you a hug right now!

    • I just want to add that I wrote this comment with great love and sympathy for you, Daryl. I guess some of the comments just hit a nerve and I wanted to explain both points of view, but I know it’s so hard being in the position that you’re in and feeling desperate for a baby, and I haven’t forgotten what that’s like. Not at all. Things fertile people do still get deep under my skin. I hope you’ll take my own comment with a grain of salt and just know that I’m still totally on your side. TTC and infertilty suck!

      • I know you know how difficult this is, and I appreciate the kindness of your comments, even though you disagree with me on this.

        I totally get not wanting to feel like a shut-in just because you have a kid, but I don’t think a long, loud movie is the place to go. And I didn’t mention that this couple ended up leaving before the movie was over, so it obviously wasn’t a good time for them, either, even though your experience was different. Maybe if this kid had slept the whole time I wouldn’t have a problem with it. It was just so distracting, not just because the one thing I want so badly was right there in my face, but because they kept getting up and down, and the baby kept making all kinds of (adorable) noise. And I don’t think we were the only ones who noticed this distraction, just because we’re infertile.

        It does occur to me that, wherever Hubby and I end up, we probably won’t have family close or a sitter that we know/trust, either. And I know that makes things more difficult. But we’ll deal with it the best we can.

      • I agree with what both you and SM are saying. It’s one thing to bring a baby to a movie and it’s a whole other thing to cause a distraction that disrupts the movie for everyone else. It’s disrespectful, inconsiderate, and rude and I try so hard not to be one of *those* parents. I only wish everyone else did because there are many of them out there and they irritate me, too. Thank you for being open to hearing my opinion, Daryl! xo

      • This is slightly different in my opinion. If you know the baby will sleep the whole time or be (relatively) quiet than that’s a different story. Unfortunately, for the most part I have only ever seen parents bring loud, obnoxious children or sobbing, squirmy babies to movies. That’s not cool for the rest of the people who paid to watch the movie. If you’re going to be a distraction, then it’s best to stay at home or do something else. I also should point out that I don’t have a problem if you come to the movie and then realize that it’s not working out. There’s no harm in trying, but admit defeat before it gets to be a nuisance to others.

        I hope you didn’t take offense to my comment, friend. I just have seen too many inconsiderate parents and/or children.

  4. In a way I think it’s cool that the parents are trying to maintain some semblance of a normal life even after having a baby, and in another way it seems selfish to the other moviegoers who have paid their money and want an undisturbed viewing experience. I can see cassiedash’s point…I think maybe the difference is the sensitivity of the new parents to how disruptive their baby is/isn’t being and knowing when it’s time to step out or go home completely. Some people seem to know and others just don’t.

  5. I totally get that. I would never take my little guy to the movie…he would not be quiet and we would not enjoy the movie. Thankfully, here there are “mommy & baby” movie days. The theater sells every other seat and it is meant for moms to go with their kids… I’ve never been, as I think it would be a waste of money and I could just as well watch a movie at home, pause it or stop it when needed and continue when it is good. In fact, that is what hubby and I do.

  6. I can’t imagine taking a baby to a movie like that, but I’ve seen people do it. I understand the need to get out as a family, but there are so many more activities that are more kid friendly than a loud, violent movie.

  7. Oh Honey, some days are so hard and it seems as though people are actually setting out to run it in your face. Just want to wish you the very best of luck with your cycle. I am really hoping you will join me in the ranks of success after treating secondary hypogonadism any day now.

  8. Agreed! Movies are expensive now-who wants a crying (or even not crying) baby in the theater? No one. People just have no common sense anymore.

  9. I truly don’t understand this. I’ve missed many movies I wanted to see in theaters because I have my kids at home. I never once considered taking them! My oldest is 4 and I still don’t think he could sit through a movie and I would never have hoped either of my kids would sleep through it as infants. I think it’s a little selfish of people to bring babies to the movies.

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