That’s today’s beta.
Hubby convinced me to pee on something last night so we could get the results together. I didn’t want to. I was perfectly content inside our little bubble of hope and possibility. Where I might be pregnant. Where this cycle could have worked. Knowing would send me into a tailspin of either grief or anxiety, and I wanted to postpone that for as long as possible.
I was shocked to see those two lines appear almost simultaneously. I’ve never seen a positive test before. It was surreal, and I now understand why people hang onto these sticks-o-pee for so long. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s true.
I go back on Friday for my second beta, and we’ve already scheduled my first ultrasound for 8/9.
Somebody pinch me.
P.S. I couldn’t sleep last night, except for short, bizarre-dream-filled spurts. I woke up from one such dream crying. My mother was there, and I was overcome with emotion at not being able to share our news with her.