Telling

*Pregnancy-related post.  Read at your own discretion.*

At 5 weeks 2 days, we’ve told more people about this pregnancy than I would have thought we would at this point.  And that’s really scary.

My sister was the first.  I called Zappa the night of the positive pregnancy test.  She squealed.  And later said she hoped it was triplets.  All girls.  Thanks, sis.

Since then, she has told her daughter, who, at age 10, apparently already knows all about the risk of miscarriage.  Although my sister has no idea how.

After the first beta, I called my dad.  I had a hard time getting the words out, but he asked me, and I stumbled around, avoiding the words “I’m pregnant,” and got the point across.  He was his typical, low-key self, but wished us well.

I also told my friend, D.  This was a big step for me, considering how recently I wasn’t sure I wanted to continue our friendship at all.  She later texted me, asking how I was doing, swearing she was more excited about my pregnancy than her own.

Hubby emailed his brother before talking to his dad.  He doesn’t talk to his brother regularly because of the 9-hour time difference, but he does talk to his dad almost every day in what is the early morning where his dad lives.  Between sending that email and speaking to his father, his brother had already shared our good news with their dad.  Not cool.

I guess the only upside to his dad having some memory issues is that, a few days later, he asked how the IVF had gone and if we knew the results yet.  So Hubby did get to tell his dad after all.

But the best reaction was when Hubby told his uncle.  I was awake for that one.  I could hear the two of them talking in Hubby’s native language from the bathroom, where I was brushing my teeth.  Then I heard his uncle saying, “Wow wow wow!”  It was freaking adorable.  He is, after all, a huge reason we even got to attempt a second round of IVF.

Up until yesterday, the only person I had told face-to-face was my therapist.  But last night I had dinner with my good friend Sincerity.  I was back and forth all day leading up to seeing her, trying to decide whether or not I should tell her this early.  And then I did, and she almost started crying.  Which made me nearly cry.  The other super awesome thing about her is that she kept validating all my crazy anxiety, saying she would probably feel the same way in my shoes (even without undergoing fertility treatments and ART).

I really hope, for all of their sakes as well as for Hubby’s and my own, that we get good news a week from now.  I don’t think I could handle having to take it all back.

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14 thoughts on “Telling

  1. Telling people is difficult, at least I felt that way too. I’m not sure if it ever got easier, but I did start to enjoy (some) more the results when people were told.
    Congrats and enjoy!

    • Yes, that’s exactly why I’ve told the people I have. Especially Sincerity, who is the only local friend who knows. I am trying, at least in moments, to enjoy the fact that, as far as I know, I am pregnant. There is a baby in there, right?

  2. I totally get the anxiety around telling people. I agree with JustHeather up there–it doesn’t get easier when you do the big “public tell” at 4 or 5 months (I had a total meltdown). There is a point, though, when you have to ease into the pregnancy and revel in the fact that after all the shit you’ve been through, YOU DID IT! THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING! I think as IFers we’re so used to protecting ourselves from celebrating because we’ve experienced so much disappointment and pain, maybe we forget how to feel joy a bit.

    The point is, is girl, you’ve got a baby growing in there, and this is so much closer than you’ve ever been.

    • You’re right, of course, I’ve never gotten this far before. So it’s all new and kind of scary. I’m doing my best to try to enjoy moments here and there, especially with Hubby.

  3. I understand the nervousness about “untelling,” but you also deserve the love and support of your friends and family. Telling, or not, will not jinx the pregnancy, so do whatever makes you happy.

  4. It’s scary telling people, but it’s a big first step too. And it has to be done sometime, so why not do it early and let them celebrate with you the whole nine months long? I’m praying for really good news for you next week, friend. I have a good feeling about this!

  5. This is beautiful, Daryl. No time like now to spill the beans! I told many, many people right away, too. It is so important to celebrate your success in the moment, even if you have fears about what tomorrow may bring. You are pregnant NOW, and you not only deserve to celebrate it, but you’d be doing a great disservice to yourself if you didn’t! I can’t wait to hear more! 🙂

    • Thanks, dear. I’m doing my best to enjoy this time, and in moments, I’m actually able to do it. Friday is a huge hurdle, and once we get past it, I may be able to breathe a little easier.

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