Meanwhile…

Believe it or not, there are other things happening in my life that have little to do with the goings-on inside my uterus.  I never did write about our anniversary, but Hubby and I celebrated lucky number 7 a couple of weeks ago.  Nothing big, just dinner and speculating about the future.

At the time, we thought he had a decent shot at a one-year visiting professor position in upstate New York.  He was officially rejected from that position last week.  It seems he’s come in second place again.  He won’t say it, but this is a super-stressful time for him.  Three migraines in three days is proof enough of that.

He has one more last-chance academic position that he’s in the midst of applying for.  But he’s also been applying for plenty of non-academic jobs (for, like, a year), and hasn’t had any luck with those either.  The hiring at the company in his home country has been put on hold indefinitely, so the options are slim.  I’d have migraines, too.

My dad also remains unemployed (no surprise, at the age of 76) but insists on looking for work and collecting unemployment.  It turned out to be a good thing he was available last week because he had to accompany my sister to her tilt table test on Friday.

She’s seen a neurologist who suspects she has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome based on her symptoms.  Super fun.  This test was either supposed to help confirm that diagnosis or rule out something else.  I’m not quite sure.  Neither was she.  She just said the test itself was panic attack-inducing, especially after they gave her something to increase her heart rate.  According to the medical professionals administering the test, her results were normal.  So I have no idea what that means.  She doesn’t go back to the neurologist until the 16th.

Meanwhile, I work with a woman who has Chronic Fatigue who has been telling me horror stories for years about how badly most people cope with the illness.  My sister intends to pursue non-Western treatment for whatever she has, so when I told her the lady I work with is on all kinds of shit for it, she was not pleased.  I just hate that this isn’t something that goes away.  There’s no cure.  You just have to manage it the best you can for the rest of your life.  I wish there was a simpler solution for my sister.

Hubby’s dad is out of the hospital, although he did have a brief stay recently when one of his nephrostomy tubes (which drain his kidneys) fell out and had to be replaced.  He has a male home health aide with him nearly 24 hours a day, and his lifestyle has changed dramatically.  I worry about what effects this loss of independence will have on his mental faculties.  (It was moving to a nursing home that took my grandmother’s Alzheimer’s from bad to worse.)  But for now, he seems to be in stable, if not great, health.  And Hubby’s brother says having another person to talk to all day has helped some with his memory issues.

I wish there was better news to report.  I continue to hope that, one day, there will be.

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13 thoughts on “Meanwhile…

  1. Been absent from commenting for a week or so, but first off, happy anniversary! And I’m so glad for what’s going on in your ute! As for the rest of it, yeah that is all kinds of suckitude. M has come in second place for a few job opportunities at work and you just wish someone would tell him what he needs to do to get over whatever hurdle it is to get the spot. It’s frustrating, but he seems to have a never-say-die attitude so I’m sure something will eventually work out for you guys.

    • Never-say-die is about right. Every time he thinks he’s at the end of his rope, something else pops up, and he always goes for it. I hope that attitude is what gets him his dream job in the end!

  2. Wow — so much happening and all of it so hard to deal with. I’m so sorry! What a difficult, stressful time this must be for both of you. But I am fully expecting great news from you on Friday. That’s something to hope for. Hugs, friend!

  3. We’re dealing with a similar situation. My contract as a Visiting Assistant professor was not renewed for this upcoming year because 1) they assumed I’d be starting a postdoc and 2) I can’t teach in the fall as the Beats have arrived. I’m still keeping in contact with that institution in case something for a semester opens up, but the competition is steep. Grey is looking for work too and “we like you but no” seems to be the most common answer. Hence I get where you’re coming from. It’s a tough time to be in science.

    Regarding Chrontic Fatigue Syndrome: has your sister looked into acupuncture? The reason I ask is that this condition is poorly understood (and there was a major scientific fraud case where the investigator is currently serving jail time for lying about the data that suggested a potential mechanism). Anyway, acupuncture seems to be pretty effective in treating this condition, so it’s worthwhile investigating as insurance may also cover the expense. Either way, very sorry to hear about this potential diagnosis.

    Take good care of yourself.

    • She is looking into acupuncture, but wants to get the official diagnosis first. The neurologist suggested stimulants and anti-depressants, which totally freaked her out, so she’s trying to go the more “natural” route.

  4. My thoughts go out to you and your husband during his difficult job search. I’ve only just begun and am already frustrated. Yet I know he’s been pounding the pavement for far longer. And I’m sorry about your sister. I don’t know the first thing about Chronic Fatigue syndrome, but the word “chronic” tells me a lot. I agree with the commenter above you mentioned acupuncture as an option. It’s certainly worked wonders for my endo, so hopefully it can help her too!

  5. I’m considering going back to teaching (high school), if I can’t get a job in academia. It is frustrating, but better I suppose than lingering in adjunct land. Hope your sister gets better. My friend’s grand-daughter had chronic fatigue syndrome, and she was hospitalized at 13 (I think) in the UK, and then in and out of hospital because of an eating disorder. She couldn’t keep her weight on whenever she was released. It seems though, that she is finally doing better. I worry a lot about the elderly. I always have. And since I am now 44 and childless, I fear aging even more.

  6. Sorry your husband is having such job trouble. My husband is also in the position of not being able to work his “dream” job. After years and years of pursing it, I think he is feeling like it’s time to give up. It breaks my heart. I hope your husband is able to find something.
    That sucks for your sister. Hopefully, she can get some answers soon and work on treating it.

  7. This is a lot of challenges within the family, it’s tough to stand on the side, and not being able to fix it. I don’t know much about your sisters situation but I’m glad she is open to alternative treatment. I hope it will ease the symptoms.

  8. i feel like today (or someday really soon) is your first ultrasound. it’s also possible that i’m making that up. but either way, i’ve been thinking about you. and i hope hope hope that everything goes smoothly. xo

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