Nothing irritates me more than when some (well-intentioned?) religious
nut-job zealot person implies or flat-out says that infertility is part of god’s plan. That there’s some sort of lesson to be learned from suffering, or you’re meant to adopt or live child-free. There’s a reason I don’t believe in any kind of god who would be that sadistic just to teach you a lesson.
But what’s worse is when I consider something I do believe in: evolution. There is not even a minuscule part of me that believes for one fraction of a second that Hubby and I are not meant to parent together. But when I think about the fact that, evolutionarily speaking, we shouldn’t be able to have kids, my head spins.
Hubby was born with a condition (thanks to a dysfunctional pituitary gland) that left him missing out on puberty, along with any accompanying interest in girls, let alone procreation. The treatment? Testosterone replacement therapy, which succeeded in sterilizing him, if he had any sperm to begin with. So when he did start showing an interest in women, procreation was still out of the question.
He is not unaware of this irony, given that he studies evolutionary theories, specifically as they relate to mating. We both know how fortunate we are to live in a time when science and technology can assist us in family building. Not that we’d have ever met without my husband’s TRT.
But now I’m facing another issue. The female body has also been molded by evolution to carry and bear offspring. it’s supposed to be a natural thing for a fit woman. (Obviously, this raises all kinds of issues in this community. Again, thank the universe for ART.) We completely bypassed evolution and nature in order to get this far, and we continue to help this pregnancy along with nightly progesterone injections. I am more than ready to let nature/evolution take over.
Not only that, but there is an evolutionary theory about maternal/baby fitness as it relates to morning sickness. (There’s also a more widely-held theory that it has to do with keeping potentially harmful parasites away from baby.)
The fact that I’ve had almost no nausea and, when I have, it’s been fleeting at best, has me concerned. If it’s supposed to be the result of parent-offspring conflict, what does that say about this baby? Is she not putting up enough of a fight? Or am I the big, fat weakling, giving into her every request for vital nutrients, even ones I may need for myself?
As ready as I am for this to feel like a “normal” pregnancy, I also worry that, without the crutch of progesterone injections, I could easily lose it. That if this weren’t the case, I’d be throwing up–or at least fighting the urge to–like a healthy, pregnant woman.
Then again, men were supposed to have evolved to fix toilets and stuff, but guess who’s doing that at my house tonight? Maybe evolution isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.