Last night, at 13 weeks, I did something really scary. I announced to family and friends that I’m pregnant. Even as my cursor was hovering over the send button, I couldn’t help the what-ifs. What if I send this message to my whole family and then the worst happens?
I didn’t broadcast it to all of facebook, but instead sent a message to a select few, including my older siblings and the friends I don’t see often but who knew what we were going through to build our family. Even though I’d never discussed our infertility with my siblings, other than Zappa, I knew that most of them probably knew, thanks to my mom and the gossip machine that is my family.
I wrote, in part:
After our second round of IVF, I am excited and relieved to finally be able to announce that we are expecting a baby in April. We wouldn’t have gotten this far without a lot of help and support from family and friends (and doctors, nurses, embryologists, science, technology, etc., etc.), and I hope we can count on your continued support as we navigate my first pregnancy and parenthood.
The response, as expected, came mostly from my friends. My announcement went largely ignored by most of my five older siblings. I wasn’t surprised neither of my brothers responded, considering neither of them made an effort to attend my wedding, either, but I hoped to at least get congratulations from my sisters. Only the oldest responded (and also made her own announcement on her wall, which was not my intent).
But from those who did respond, the love and support was genuine and sometimes ecstatic. Many of them have been waiting a long time for this news, and one friend even offered to throw us a baby shower. While I’m not quite ready for that step, I appreciated her enthusiasm.
I also told one of my office mates at work today. She nearly jumped out of her chair! It’s those kinds of responses that make me really glad to have told friends and family, so that they can share in our joy. Part of me still hopes I’m not jinxing anything by doing so, but mostly, I’m enjoying their kind words, congratulations, beaming faces, and warm hugs. And in those moments, I’m not waiting for the worst to happen. I’m just–finally–enjoying this.