The Weird and the Wonderful

Saturday was what I like to call a super pregnant day.  Everything was made more difficult, either by my growing belly, my continuing pelvic pain, or becoming easily winded.  I felt every ounce of the 19 pounds I’ve gained so far.  There was much grunting, like when I was getting dressed or trying to get off the couch.  I couldn’t sit through a 2-hour movie without frequently shifting positions to alleviate the pressure of all my organs being pushed up into my ribs.  And all day, I kept thinking, I can’t be this uncomfortable already.  I have ten more weeks to go.

There’s this woman at work, a nurse, who shares all kinds of medical tidbits and personal stories designed to–do what, exactly, I have no idea.  She recently told me that when she was pregnant with her daughter, the baby would scratch at her cervix.  I wish I could claim I have no idea what that feels like, but yes, it’s as much fun as it sounds.

I love feeling all of Thumper’s movements, and I’m usually thrilled to guess her position and which body part is poking out where (because I usually have no idea).  She gets the hiccups at least once a day, and even Hubby can feel them.  But this?  This is not the most pleasant of pregnancy experiences.  The other night it felt like she was trying to claw her way out of my uterus.

It’s been better since Saturday, but I know I’m getting to the point in this pregnancy where I’m going to have more uncomfortable days than not.  Still, things have been good overall.

It seems all anyone can talk about is how big my belly is getting.  Strangers comment on it without hesitation.  Last Friday I went to a sandwich shop for lunch.  The girl on the other side of the counter couldn’t stop grinning at me.  At first, I thought maybe she knew me.  Was she the mother, sister, or aunt of one of my kiddos at work?  Then she spoke up:

Sandwich girl (pointing to my belly): Looks like there’s a baby in there.
Me: There sure is.
SG: That’s so exciting!  You’re the second pregnant woman I’ve seen today!  How far along are you?
Me: 30 weeks.
SG: Wow!  Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?
Me: She’s a girl.
SG: AWWWWWW!  What’s the baby craving today?

Finally she got down to the business of making my sandwich, and I thought that was the end of the baby talk.  But I would be wrong.  As I was paying, she asked, “Do you have a name picked out?”

I hesitated for a moment.  How mad could Hubby really be if I shared our chosen name with the girl who made my sandwich?  A virtual stranger?  But I didn’t.  Instead, I said, “We’re working on it.”

Yesterday, even a four-year-old pointed and asked, “Is there a baby in there?”  It was kind of adorable.

I have been more hormonal/emotional lately.  Quick to tears.  We watched Instructions Not Included this weekend, and the ending totally blindsided me, leaving me bawling in the bathroom.  Partly because Hubby said he added it to our Netflix queue because it was about a father and daughter, and partly because, watching it, I couldn’t help thinking, What if that was our daughter?

I had a dream last week that I could see Thumper’s face through my belly, which had become transparent.  She was the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen.  She had Hubby’s brown eyes and dark hair, my nose and widow’s peak.  It put me in a good mood the whole next day.

And yet, I still look at my reflection and marvel.  That growing belly is really mine?  Our child is in there, growing and thriving?  In a couple of months, we’ll finally become a family of three?  Somehow, I still can’t fathom that this is real.

Hubby, on the other hand, is becoming more and more excited.  He’s talking about learning how to braid hair.  He’s already jealous that I’ll be the one staying home with Thumper while he goes to work.  He looked at me the other night and said, “I’m going to be a father.”

I don’t know when (or if) this is all going to sink in.  But the closer we get to meeting our little bunny, the more excited and worried and giddy and wistful and protective and excited and nervous and scared and excited we get.

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26 thoughts on “The Weird and the Wonderful

  1. I had a lot of pelvic pain during pregnancy, and what I found helped the most was getting in the pool and doing aqua aerobics. Getting in the pool in general was the best thing ever during the 3rd trimester. Glad to hear things are going well!

  2. I have 4 month old babies and I am still waiting for it to sink in. It really does feel a little unreal at times to finally have what I wanted for so long.
    I can’t believe you are 30 weeks already!

  3. Ah yes the cervix sensation. The most panicked I became during my pregnancy was when I started getting pain in my cervix at 18 weeks! I was convinced I was going into early labour, but no, just my daughter investigating it.

    It does get more and more uncomfortable and it can get hard to hold onto the awesome of being pregnant, but you are doing a great job growing that little girl.

    My babes are now 2! and I still have days where I look in the rear view mirror in the car and marvel at what is riding in the back. How can this be mine, how did I end up here when we started with NO SPERM!

    • I know. That’s the crazy thing, I think, is how far we’ve come. I can’t believe your twins are 2! When I started reading your blog, you were still pregnant with them!

  4. I also had a transparent belly dream at one point. It was around 24 weeks, before they detected any problems, but in the dream I remember being able to tell that our boy was in trouble. Six weeks and many A+ ultrasounds later and all the sudden that appears to be the case. Maybe some new found mother’s intuition, maybe just anxiety after he always measured a little smaller than our girl. But either way I bet you’re getting your beautiful baby girl with her dark, dark hair and widows peak.

    • I’m sorry your baby boy is struggling right now, and that it started in your dreams well before you knew anything was wrong. That’s so stressful, and I’m sure you’re worried about him. I know your mother’s intuition will serve you well when you have to make decisions about what’s best for both your babies. Fingers crossed they get to stay put for as long as possible.

      • Oh god, Daryl. I read back though my comment and it sounds awful! I meant it to be positive (and about you and not me!!). What I meant to convey was that the transparent belly dream is an amazing amazing thing and that maybe there is some intuition to it and that maybe that intuition is telling you that your beautiful little Thumper girl is thriving and dark haired and handsomely widows peaked and, we’ll every bit as beautiful as you imagined her. 🙂 My brain is mush. So sorry!

      • No need to apologize, Lentil. I know what you meant. I’ve had a really hard time posting and commenting lately because I think of you and others who are having less-than-perfect pregnancy experiences, and I feel guilty that mine has been so blissfully uneventful. I’m grateful, but it also feels so unfair that I should be so lucky when others aren’t. I wish you and your babies nothing but the best!

      • I felt the same way up until last week, my friend. I still feel like we had such a joyful, perfect pregnancy. And it will always be special and wonderful in my memory. I’m being very closely monitored, and babies are still inside (I’ll try to post tomorrow with a full on update), and any day that that is the case is a good day. 🙂 Post away, sisterfriend. We all have histories of IF. We know when it’s best for our mental health to avoid the blog world. I’m so glad to hear little Thumper is doing so well!!!

  5. I’ve had those cervix things! Sometimes it feels like she’s jabbing her hand through my cervix, and sometimes it feels like she’s giving my cervix a noogie. Strangest feeling. And also, the “my organs are being squished into my rib cage” feeling went away for me when the baby dropped. All of a sudden I could breathe and sit without being crazy uncomfortable. It was awesome! (But then the baby lodged in my pelvis and made the pelvic/pubic pain worse, so…)

  6. It’s so funny/strange how random people smile at me in public places now. I’m often in the grocery store thinking…. why is that old lady smiling at me??? OH, it’s because of my giant belly! So weird.
    30 weeks is so close! I’m so happy for you.
    I get the cervix scratching/punching sensation too. It’s gotten stronger over time, so I’ll bet yours does too! It’s so fun to see how their movement changes in the last 10 weeks (well, I still have three to go). I love the crazy big rolling movements you get towards the end. 🙂

  7. Yes, I remember all this (vaguely, *sighing wistfully*) and the un-reality of it takes quite a while to sink in and sometimes it doesn’t feel like it ever will sink in.

    I remember Paxlet kicking (banging his head into?) my cervix. My goodness that hurt! I could only describe it as “we should never feel kicks/pain from that side of our body”. lol

  8. I think I would have a really hard time with all the repetitive, inane comments from strangers. But I tend to be an irritable, bitchy sort. Perhaps it’s good I can’t get pregnant. The world couldn’t handle it. 😉

    • You are so going to get your turn (really, really soon, I hope!). And you totally have my permission to roll your eyes and make as many snarky comments to people’s dumb questions as you want! In fact, I can’t wait to read all about it!

  9. If you’re anything like us it will never sink in and you will always be giddy about her. So very excited for you!

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