Down the rabbit hole

Once again, I’m pecking this out on my phone with baby girl sacked out on my chest. The past 10 days have both flashed by in an instant and moved slower than molasses in January (as my mother would say). It’s been rough in more ways than I could have imagined, which is saying a lot because I was fully expecting it to be hard. I’ve written dozens of posts in my head, including my miracle baby’s birth story,  but sleepless nights (and days), breastfeeding woes, and concerns about baby girl’s weight gain have kept me away from this space. I’ve missed it, especially because I need the support of a community now more than ever. I hope things will get better soon.  In the meantime, all I can do is snuggle
my daughter and thank the healthcare system for nurses who make house calls.


19 thoughts on “Down the rabbit hole

  1. Girl I am right there with you. 4 days post partum and finally feel like half a human because I got more than an hour of sleep last night. Lactation consult came over yesterday, but it still hurts like hell! And as of this moment I’ve become extremely weepy. Can’t wait to read your birth story when you get a chance to post it. In the meantime, sending you love, support, and a little special something from one new mom to another. Life is beautiful. 🙂

  2. I’m late to offer my congratulations, and so I may be more focussed on the joy aspect of this news than the challenges, but….Congratulations on Thumper’s arrival!! I am so delighted for you and hubby my friend. I imagine those first days can be daunting, but you’ll get there. One day at a time Mama. And for now, enjoy the snuggling.

  3. Breastfeeding can be tough especially if things don’t start out smoothly. It does get better though! I am working on the breastfeeding portion of my postpartum doula certification right now. If there is anything I can help you with or any support I can give please let me know. Listen to your baby and yourself and trust both. Hugs, prayers and good thoughts sent your way.

  4. Congratulations. I’m sure you’re doing great. One day – or one hour – at a time. You’ll get through it!

  5. I remember those early days. I had had a C-section and my milk hadn’t fully come in. z had to be fed by dropper with colostrum and formula mixed. Though I didn’t have some of the typical problems some women have– I did have an oversupply issue and The whole endeavor was frankly, painful, but like everyone said you just have to work through it — if that’s what works for you and yours. In all ways, all of it gets better. Sounds cliché but try to sleep when the baby does. I’ll be thinking of you guys.


  6. Breastfeeding IS hard. Really, it’s all hard in the beginning, especially when it’s your first. But you will find your footing at some point and you will develop a routine and you will start to breathe a little easier. Thinking of you! xo

  7. Congratulations! It is definately rough in the beginning but you will get into a routine. Take it easy, enjoy snuggling your little girl and savor ever moment. It goes by so fast, my premie twin boys are 4.5 months old and I do not know where the time has gone.

  8. Good to hear from you. I have been wondering how you are getting on. And yes, the first few weeks are rough. It took us almost two weeks to get the hang of breastfeeding properly. And we had to both pump and top up with formula those early days so she would gain weight as she needed. To get the feeding started is tough and coupled with knowing your baby needs to gain weight is double worry and so stressful.

    Hang in there, it will get easier as you find your own little routines that work.

  9. Those early days are sooooo tough. My SIL said it to me over and over back then, and I’ll say it to you now. It does get better. I promise. The beautiful thing about children is that everything is a phase. Just take it one day at a time, and eventually, everything falls into place. Hugs!

  10. I don’t even remember the early days that well, except that they consisted of nothing but feeding, changing and sleeping (for them, not so much us). We had concerns about weight gain with Abby and some breastfeeding issues – breastfeeding for me didn’t become even somewhat enjoyable until they were about 8 weeks old. It did get easier though. If you have any questions I’d be happy to help 🙂

  11. My girl had a really bad lip tie. I found Dr. Sears’s book, The Baby Book, to be extremely beneficial.

    Make sure to flip up her top lip to make a phalange shape, and also try a couple different holds. You can do it! And if you ever need to vent when it comes to bf’ing, I’m here!!!

  12. Those first weeks are brutal. You’ll get through it. Although, I still feel like time is moving both fast and slow at the same time. Hang in there! You will eventually get more than a couple hours of sleep again. I promise!

  13. Just wanted to congratulate you! The public house calls are a god send. I live in Vancouver and our nurse still does house calls (she came in the first week and then I have contacted her by phone with questions since then, but she offers to come over). Its awesome! The weight gain is a huge stress the first while. I thought after the baby was born, worrying would be less, almost 6 months later I still go check on her to see if she is breathing. Congrats!!!!!

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