Are you effing kidding me?!?

I have beautifully crafted, elegantly worded posts cluttering up my head that have not made it as far as the keyboard, let alone to this space. But instead, I’m angrily tapping out this little gem on my phone while, ironically enough, baby girl nibbles at my breast.

Ironic because, after a much-needed nap (mine–baby girl has refused to sleep all day), I went to the bathroom and discovered red blood on the tissue. Not quite 10 weeks after giving birth and while working my ass off to exclusively breastfeed.

Not having a period is supposed to be a perk to this whole breastfeeding gig. One I desperately need after dealing with all the shit we’ve been through to get to this point. Which, by the way, still includes open wounds and nipple pain.

Just what I need, on top of the emotional turmoil of being responsible for keeping another human alive, is this reminder of my supposed “fertility.” Because no matter how many periods I have, we are still infertile. I just wanted to be able to enjoy baby girl for awhile without the monthly reminder of what we will one day have to endure–this time as a family of three–if and when we want to give her a sibling.

So fucking unfair.


5 thoughts on “Are you effing kidding me?!?

  1. SO fucking unfair is right. I feel mine brewing. As a result of trying to bottle feed once a day last week, I began to get pre-cramps etc. So then I obsessively googled “how to keep your period away while breastfeeding.” I read that baby wearing, bed sharing/in room cosleeping, and nursing frequently are supposed to help, but I call BS. I think some just get it earlier than others REGARDLESS of how many times baby goes to boob and blah blah blah. ANNOYING.

  2. Sorry hon. 😦 Biology is a bitch at times (most of the time actually).

    Hang in there. And remind yourself that you’re doing an amazing job taking care of your little one.

  3. Has full-on red continued? I think I spotted abit around this time, but then nothing more for months. I am so sorry!
    Over a year of periods here after my guy and still nothing to write home about (I’ll be calling our clinic again after the summer holidays).

  4. It may or may not be the case with you but many people, myself included will have one period around that time and then not have another one for a long time. I had 1 at 8 weeks postpartum then didn’t start regular cycles back until 11months postpartum. Also be prepared for very irregular cycles at the beginning.

  5. Don’t panic just yet..I got mine for the first and third month postpartum and since then haven’t had anything and baby boy is 1 year old this week. It could just be your body getting rid of everything and is normal.Keep up the breast feeding and a mild contraceptive if possible and you will be period free.

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