A comma, not a period

So…that freak-out yesterday?  It may have been a bit premature.  I’ve had no more bleeding, no cramps, no other signs of an impending period.  I had a scheduled follow-up with the OB today, who said it was most likely the result of uterine contractions, which happen during breastfeeding, and almost certainly not a period.  Whew.

(And thankyouthankyouthankyou for all your supportive and encouraging comments!)

In my defense, I wasn’t having the greatest day yesterday.  My overreaction (although, to be fair, is there really such a thing as overreacting to the sight of blood?) might have been partly fueled by the fact that I’d been struggling all day to get baby girl to sleep.  Just making myself lunch took at least three attempts and a stern scolding of Cat, who had decided the food left on the counter top was clearly meant for her.  By the time Hubby got home, I was nearly in tears, so he took over and let me take a nap.  Which would have been very restful had I not woken up to what I thought was a period.

It also doesn’t help that we’ve already been discussing how to proceed in attempting number two.  (Honestly, I’m a little surprised Hubby, who usually begins these conversations, has emerged from the newborn stage so ready to have another go.)  Quebec funds up to three rounds of IVF.  Pretty amazing, right?  It seems silly not to take advantage of that while we’re here.  But we already have three embryos on ice back in the US, and we definitely plan on transferring them (though perhaps not all at the same time).  And, from what little research we’ve done so far, it seems the waiting list here can be up to a year.  In a way, it puts pressure on us to make a decision fairly soon, or at least begin to seriously consider our options.  Transporting and transferring our existing embryos may not be one of them.

As I said in my last post, I’d much rather be spending this time enjoying my baby girl (who becomes more and more enjoyable every day) and not thinking about a future that may or may not include another round (or two, or three) of IVF.  But the time is already passing so quickly, I know it’s something I will eventually have to confront.

Just not now.  Not yet.  Please.


5 thoughts on “A comma, not a period

  1. Thinking of you, friend. These early weeks (months) can be so hard, when you’re tired and stressed and, all of a sudden, you have ten different things to worry about. It’s overwhelming and so the premature freakout makes total sense. Hang in there! And when it comes to pondering #2, wishing you lots of luck and peace and answers. I know it’s a huge decision to make. xo

  2. I totally understand your reaction yesterday. I was thrown when baby girl was 3 months, (to the day) I got my first period back. And the second one is already here as I type… ugh. It brings back all sorts of emotions,doesn’t it! So I really hope it stays away for you a little bit longer!!
    As for trying for #2, best of luck making the decisions needed and work out when you might be ready again. It feels so unfair knowing what you/we have to go through to even try for a sibling.

  3. I got some sort of bleeding around that time, as well. I didn’t get my period back until I stopped breastfeeding around 8 months. Having a period again after all this time is weirdly emotional. I’m so used to my period meaning failure and it’s hard to get past that. Anyway, hope it stays away for a good long while.
    Also, how awesome is it that you can get free IVF? Makes trying for a 2nd seem a little more feasible, right? Not having to worry about the financial aspect would be a huge relief.

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