Wanted

You weren’t supposed to exist.  We willed you into being.  We also had a lot of help. And a lot of luck.

After our first failed attempt, we couldn’t afford another round of IVF, and I thought we’d never get to try again.  But Aba’s family helped us–Saba and Dod T–because they wanted very much to meet you.  Almost as much as Aba and I did.

I was scared the whole time that it wouldn’t work again, but you stuck, snuggled safe and sound into my uterus. And you stayed there for nine months, until you were pushed and pulled out of my body and into my arms.

Your Saba, when he finally got to meet you, was so happy and so proud. Dod T was quite taken, as well. Everyone who meets you falls in love. Grammy wanted to meet you, too. She was always asking when your Aba and I would have babies, even though–or maybe because–she knew it would not be easy for us.

I wish there was a way for us to live near all your family, everyone who waited and wished to meet you. Papa and Aunt Zappa miss you all the time. Your family across the ocean does, too. Just because we don’t get to see them all the time, I never, ever want you to forget how much they all wanted you to be born, how much they loved and supported Mommy and Aba so we could get you here.

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2 thoughts on “Wanted

  1. This is beautiful.

    And I can so relate to the whistful feelings of wishing my baby girl could be surrounded by more of her family. I miss for her the loud childhood with many siblings and cousins around that I grew up with, and am so grateful that my family in Canada has been able to visit as often as they have.

    • It’s wonderful that your family has been able to visit often. I’m so grateful for Skype, but kisses through a screen are just not the same!

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