• Yesterday I went to the OB/GYN for a regularly scheduled appointment, but I asked her to check my episiotomy scar again because I’m still having a lot of pain during sex (more on this in an upcoming post). While I was out, Missy stayed home with Hubby. It was the longest I’d been away from her (about two hours), but according to my husband, she didn’t seem to notice or ask for me once. I was especially hurt by this because she starts asking for “Aba” as soon as he goes into another room.
  • Also yesterday, I finally got around to calling the local community clinic to ask about possible PPD/PPA. The person I spoke to took my information and said a social worker would call me back. I’m still waiting for that call. I have been feeling better the last few days, but I never know when the next wave of anger and frustration is going to crash.
  • I had a lovely comment the other day from someone saying she missed the daily emails of my posts during the A to Z Challenge. After the 30-day yoga challenge, I took a break because my body had been pretty achy the whole time, and I can now count on one hand the number of times I’ve done yoga since. I’m not going to be able to sustain daily blogging, but I would like to blog at least a couple of times a week. I have some posts brewing, and hopefully my husband will soon have a new job, which will give me plenty to write about.
  • Speaking of the A to Z Challenge, I’ve been meaning to reflect on my experience,  but that’s clearly not going to happen in its own post, so I’ll just say a few words here. I really enjoyed doing it, though it was a bit stressful at times, especially if I ran out of time in the evenings to write. I’m very proud that I was able to post something every day (except Sundays), and some of those posts were pretty good. The part of the challenge where I dropped the ball was reading other participants’ blogs. I started out well, but about a week and a half in, I had gotten way behind on both challenge reading and my regular blog reading. It was really interesting to visit several non-ALI blogs, though, and I made some interesting discoveries. I could be persuaded to participate again next year.
  • I don’t really have anything else to add at the moment, but I don’t like having an even number of bullet points.  So there.

2 thoughts on “Bullets

  1. If it’s any consolation to you, neither of my girls (especially Cupcake, but Skittle too) seem to ever notice when I leave. They talk about their daddy all day long, but I don’t seem to get much of a thought when I’m gone. I think this is largely because I’m a SAHM and they seem me all day every day, but I consider it a blessing. They don’t miss me when I leave (so no weeping and whining) and I don’t feel guilty. And I know this is going to sound weird, but I actually love it that they love him more. I KNOW they love me, but the fact that he’s clearly the favorite right now just makes me smile. I think it’s so sweet to see and it makes HIM so happy to be missed and loved so much, I’m glad that this is the way it is.

    Hoping you get help with both the pain during sex and the PPD/PPA, friend! Hang in there. xo

  2. One thing I was told when the kids were never saying my name at all but it was aba aba aba all the time (and yes, that made me a little weepy) was that because I was always with them, they didn’t get the concept of naming me yet because the assumption was that I would always be there. They were saying the names of things that went away that they needed to summon. So eema came very late in the game. But some of that was more of a statement that even if I did go away, there was no fear that I wouldn’t come back because I was almost always there. I don’t know if this is true, but I’m going for it.

    I hope the other stuff — painful sex and the PPD — get better soon.

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