My daughter turned two yesterday. We celebrated in our own way, mostly at home, with cake and balloons and Skype for the family who couldn’t be here. She had a good day. It was a good day for all of us. And I didn’t document a single thought about it here.
I’ve been absent from blogs and blogging for months now. Even when I managed to peck out short updates in this space, I wasn’t reading other blogs much, if at all, and the few views each of my sporadic posts received reflected that. I could stack my reasons and excuses a mile high, but that doesn’t keep me from scolding myself for abandoning this once-sacred place.
And it’s not like I’ve been needing it less. Anyone reading my most recent posts probably assumes I’ve blissed out–you know, that thing infertility bloggers do when they’ve finally gotten their arms around their longed-for child and disappear from the blogosphere. Sometimes all at once, sometimes in a slow fade. We have the child, we have the dream job, we have our new life in a fairytale land. And just like that–poof!–all the angst of years of infertility and unemployment is supposed to be a distant memory.
But, if anything, I’ve needed this space more now than since before I got pregnant. I hope I’ll be able to make myself post more regularly about the reasons why, but for now, let’s just say that writing blog posts in my head isn’t cutting it. I’ve missed this space, and I’ve missed meeting each of you in your own cozy corner of the blogiverse.
I’m not going to declare that I’m back. I’ve been far too flighty for that, and anyone who’s still reading this has been around long enough not to fall for it. But I can say I’ll try. And thank you. If you’re still here, thank you.