On Trying Again #MicroblogMondays

It was nearly two months ago when we first saw the ducklings. Thirteen of them, huddled close to each other, a peeping blob of black fuzz, swimming just behind their mother. As we were pointing and quacking, counting and re-counting (because I couldn’t believe how many there were), another family happened along, stopping to marvel at the new brood. The other mother said something like “Don’t get too attached to all 13 of them….” Sure enough, we looked for them the next day, and the next, and for weeks afterward, but they were nowhere to be found. We saw the adult ducks, a female with one or two males, the two males on their own, but no ducklings. Eventually, I realized there were actually two females and three males, which at first made me hopeful the mother was hiding somewhere with her young, until I saw all five of them within a short stretch of the stream. The ducklings were all gone.

I wondered if the mother or any of the fathers felt a sense of grief. If they would mourn all summer or if there was enough time to try again before they would have to fly off in the fall.

I didn’t get the job I interviewed for. The executive director, one of the two women who interviewed me, called me herself two days later to say that, although my experience was a good fit and I had interviewed well, they went with someone who had more local knowledge.  She recommended volunteering to get a better idea of the services in the area, which is a great idea, in theory, except that I can’t afford to put my child in daycare if I’m not getting paid. I have since applied at an educational staffing agency, hoping there might be some part-time opportunities starting this fall. I keep looking, keep trying, knowing it’s the only way we’ll be able to afford to travel to see our families as often as we’d like.

My anxiety about our upcoming FET #2 notwithstanding, the fact is we have three embryos just hanging out in suspended animation, waiting for us to decide what to do about them. They were created at the same time as the two-year-old snuggled next to me, and–whatever trepidation I may feel–we have to give at least one of them the chance to become a sibling for her. For us. For them.


And then, on Friday, we heard a familiar sound on our way home from the store. Peep peep. Peep peep. There they were. Two, then three fluffy ducklings. They swam so fast they practically skipped across the surface of the water, toward their mother, where their siblings were waiting for the stragglers to catch up. Eight of them all together.

I can’t help it. I took it as a good omen. 

 Want to participate? Check out Mel’s post to find out how.

8 thoughts on “On Trying Again #MicroblogMondays

  1. I’m sorry you didn’t get the job. It is so frustrating to hear that you need to spend money through daycare in order to get a foot in the door. Hopefully part-time work will yield something.

    My fingers are crossed for the upcoming FET. I know you are anxious (very reasonable), but I think the ducklings are a good omen.

    • Thanks, I hope so! I knew finding work here would be difficult, especially without a car, but I didn’t realize just how few and far between the possible jobs would be. I’m trying hard not to be discouraged. Some days more successfully than others.

  2. The only bright spot with the job is the fact that you got a personal phone call explaining why you weren’t hired. That courtesy is often neglected.
    Fingers crossed for the new ducklings. I’ve seen plenty of ducks and drakes around our house but no offspring yet.

    • Yes, I was surprised at the feedback. It’s better than never knowing why you were rejected, but I have to admit, when I first got the call, I thought it would be good news.

  3. Definitely a good omen. And I was actually wondering that with the first story — if the ducklings were tucked away somewhere. Though I’ve often wondered if all animals feel grief. Even spiders?

    • Based on what I’ve seen this time, those first ducklings just vanished. There must be a nest somewhere, but these new ducklings are out and about almost every time we go to that park. (Although, there are only six now.)

  4. It’s great you got feedback from your job interview. You can take comfort in knowing you gave a good interview and were a good candidate. I wish all companies did this instead of issuing the standard rejection letter.

    I would definitely look at those ducks as a good sign.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s