Gone.

As I write this, Hubby is on a plane, headed to his home country.*

His uncle died on Friday.

His father’s only brother, the one who never married, never had children of his own, who spoiled his nephews and their children instead.

The one whose generosity, in part, allowed us to complete a second cycle of IVF, which resulted in our daughter. Before he even met her in person, he said, “Never have I invested so little and gotten so much.” That investment might give her a sibling, too, and he’ll never know.

He was 87. He lived a long life, with friends and hobbies that kept his mind sharp. It was his body that couldn’t quite keep up.

When I put Missy to bed tonight, after trying to explain why we’d been missing Aba, why we’d all been sad, in a way her 2-year-old brain could comprehend, she kept repeating, “T. died. Aba saying bye to T.” And even though we had decided it would be better for him to go by himself, rather than subject Missy to a long day of travel and a disrupted schedule, just to turn around a few days later and do it again, I wished we had gone with him. Not that being there would help her understand, but at least we’d be able to process it together.

*I started writing this Sunday night. But we were right to keep Missy home. He said he’d only gotten two hours of sleep on the plane (and that was after a five-hour trip, via train and underground, to even get to the airport).

 Want to participate? Check out Mel’s post to find out how.

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16 thoughts on “Gone.

  1. So sorry you have to say goodbye to such a giving and lovely man. Tearing up a bit reading about your little girl! They understand so much more than we sometimes think.

    • Thank you. Yes, she is such a sweet and sensitive girl! I’m amazed every day by how much she’s able to articulate, but I know there’s so much more under the surface!

  2. I’m so sorry for your loss Daryl. You’ve written before about your amazing and generous uncle. I am glad that Missy got to meet him and experience him. Thinking of you and your family during this period.

    • Thank you. Yes, I’m glad she got to meet him but also sad she won’t remember him or her Saba (my husband’s father). It’s so hard to lose them both within a relatively short time.

  3. This is such a perfect example of why you don’t have to have children to be loved, to be mourned when you’re gone, and to be remembered after. You have honoured him beautifully here. Thank you for that.

    • Yes, he was like a third grandfather, especially to my husband’s brother’s children, who saw him regularly. But even to my daughter (and potential other children), he has passed down his own special legacy.

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