Second-child syndrome #MicroblogMondays

I had my first midwife appointment last Tuesday, and I didn’t blog about it because…there wasn’t much to report. I asked if she would use the Doppler (I still haven’t heard the heartbeat), but she refused, saying it was too early. Mostly, she just went over my history and drew some blood.

It’s sort of been the way this pregnancy has gone so far. The cliché is that the second child gets the shaft, right? Well, with this kid, it’s starting early.

And that’s just to this point. When we have future scans, we have the option of purchasing pictures (what?!?), but I’m sure 3D/4D will not be an option, at least, not locally. I mean, I never got around to finishing my pregnancy scrapbook for Missy/Thumper (we were in the middle of moving to Canada, after all), but I don’t even have anything to put in one for this kid.

There’s also the fact that I’m so exhausted, I haven’t put in the same emotional investment as I did the first time around. I have the multiple daily reminders, mostly in the form of pills and pessaries, that I am, in fact, pregnant, but I have no tangible evidence, not even a blurry ultrasound picture, that I can gaze at and feel my heart skip a few beats. Occasionally, I convince myself I’m feeling a flutter, only to ultimately admit it’s probably just gas.

I want to feel more connected to this pregnancy, to this potential little person growing in my womb, but I’m finding it really difficult right now. Sorry, kid.

Want to participate? Check out Mel’s post to find out how.

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5 thoughts on “Second-child syndrome #MicroblogMondays

  1. I had this exact experience with my second pregnancy. To be honest, that feeling of connection never really hit second time round, and I felt so guilty. Then when I started my maternity leave around 34 weeks, I made some remark about needing to pay more attention to my pregnancy to a (male) colleague and he said incredulously “Why? You’ve come this far”. It was a really helpful reminder that I was giving my baby everything he needed at that moment without needing to think about him all day or feel “bonded”. And so are you.

  2. This post and so much more from me for my second pregnancy too. My second one has gotten the shorter straw so many times, but she is a happy little camper, so I’m not too worried now.
    I found it harder to be excited for the 2nd pregnancy (surely we’ve screwed up our first kids’ life with it), always so busy with the first to actually take time to enjoy the pregnancy and I’d been there before…even if every pregnancy is different, it still is the same (for some).
    You’ll do great. *hugs*

  3. Have you ever tried using an at-home doppler? They take a little practice to get the hang of, but I was able to find the heartbeat at 7 weeks with this pregnancy and can now find that little thump-thump-thump in about ten seconds. It’s immensely reassuring when the worry sets in and can help with bonding too — or at least it has for me. Either way, that feeling of connection will come with time, maybe sooner, maybe much later, but it will come. xo

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