Last week, on the same day he blithely wondered aloud whether recent events in this country would spark (yet another) war, my husband also announced that he thinks we should move here, job or no job. “I think if we live here I’ll get a job, no problem.”
I know this is likely grief talking. I know he’s not looking forward to going back to winter (I’m not, either) in a city where he has a few weeks remaining at a job that’s been a disappointment from the beginning. I know he hates the idea of having one of few bright spots in his day–talking to his dad via Skype–stripped from his routine. I know he wants to spend more time with the family he has left, and they’re all here.
But somehow, now doesn’t seem like the right time to be making that kind of decision. Am I being totally insensitive?
Something Out of Nothing 
Not insensitive, just realistic and level headed in comparison to his grief. His grief is fueling his thought process. After losing my grandfather and my grandmother leaving the province in less than a week, my ability to make big choices was somewhere in the clouds and it was my sometimes aloof husband who helped me keep it all in check. He said the things I needed to hear, not necessarily what I wanted to hear. And in the end, I was grateful for that even if I wasn’t at the time.
Not insensitive at all. You just understand that grief should not be fuel for change. He needs time to process everything that has happened. Be honest but gentle with him. He will eventually see that taking time to make sound, logical decisions is the way to go. Hugs!
You are thinking clearly, trying to stay grounded amidst the chaos. It sucks that things haven’t worked out better for you guys in Canada, though maybe a blessing in disguise if you can avoid another winter. Though i know you still have months left of this one
thinking of you guys!
I don’t think you’re insensitive. That’s a decision that should be made rationally when emotions are level. Hang in there! I hope the dust settles soon and the three of you find your way to a good place.
No, it’s not the right time to make a major life change. He has just gone through a large loss following on the heels of other bad news. It’s a lot in flux.
No, I don’t think you’re insensitive. But I get where he’s coming from. He just lost his dad and home has a shitstorm waiting for him with work and I can understand wanting to change things in a way that isn’t scary/grief-filled. Hang in there.
Just chiming in to agree with everyone above. It’s definitely not the right time to make these kinds of decisions.
Huge decisions…. And practicality has often been named as insensitivity at my house….